Dear We Are Teachers,
Our elementary school has a spring carnival every year, and every year students can vote on which teachers or administrators are eligible for a “pie in the face” booth. Students can then purchase tickets to be in the lottery to pie the person of their choice. I was voted in this year, and when I told my principal I wanted to opt out, he said, “Sorry, this is an ‘other duties as assigned’ kind of thing.” I was floored. Am I being a bad sport, or this is a wild take?
—Crusty Critic
Dear C.C.,
You are not being a bad sport—you’re setting a boundary. And your principal’s “other duties as assigned” argument? That’s a wild take. Last I checked, a teacher’s job description includes lesson plans and classroom management, not serving as target practice for airborne dairy products.
Look, I get it—school spirit, community events, and letting kids see teachers as real humans are all good things. But “volunteering” should actually be, you know, voluntary. If getting pied sounds fun to you, great! But if the idea of standing there waiting for a child to launch a whipped-cream grenade at your face makes you want to change your identity and flee the country, you should absolutely be able to opt out.
I’d suggest going back to your principal and saying something like, “I love supporting the school carnival, and I’m happy to help in a different way—maybe running a game booth or helping with ticket sales. But I’m not comfortable participating in the pie-in-the-face event.” If they push back, ask where, exactly, in your contract it states that you are legally obligated to become a human pie plate.
Bottom line: You’re a teacher, not a circus act. If it feels uncomfortable or inappropriate to you, it is. Set your boundary, stand your ground, and let someone else take one for the team. Preferably someone who enjoys the scent of expired whipped cream in their hair for days.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I teach high school journalism, and I’ve been concerned for a while about how slow my high school students type. I noticed the change immediately after our feeder middle school got rid of their typing class. However, my school won’t listen about what a big problem this is, not just for my class but for all the typing our students do in the digital age. How do I convince my school/district that keyboarding class is a must?
—Keyboard Warrior
Dear K.W.,
Oh, I feel this one. Watching my high schoolers hunt-and-peck their way through writing an essay (often on their phones!) like they’re deciphering an ancient code is painful. And you’re absolutely right—this isn’t just a journalism problem, it’s a life-skills problem.
Your best bet? Hit them with the cold, hard facts. Research shows that strong keyboarding skills improve writing fluency, communication and collaboration skills, and even performance on standardized tests. Turns out, when students aren’t wasting brainpower searching for the next letter, they can focus on what they’re saying instead of how they’re typing it. Here’s a great article with resources and research to back you up.
Next, appeal to their favorite language: data. Can you time how long it takes your students to type a 200-word passage? Compare that to recommended speeds for high schoolers (hint: 40+ WPM is ideal, and I’m guessing many aren’t even close). If your school loves “college and career readiness” buzzwords, remind them that slow typing isn’t just an inconvenience, it’s a competitive disadvantage when students enter the workforce or higher education.
Finally, if they still won’t budge on bringing back keyboarding, pitch an alternative. Can journalism, English, or even advisory periods incorporate typing practice? If nothing else, push for access to typing software so students can practice on their own. Because in the end, you shouldn’t be the one fixing this—but we both know you’ll end up doing it anyway, because that’s what great teachers do.
Good luck, and may your students’ WPM increase exponentially.
Dear We Are Teachers,
After getting pranked endlessly last year by my 6th graders, I’ve got to come correct this year! What are some good April Fools’ pranks for that age that won’t be mean or cause harm but will be incredibly satisfying for me as a teacher? I feel like I need to start planning now!
—Fool Me Once
Dear F.M.O.,
Oh, I love this energy. You are absolutely right—April Fools’ Day is a battlefield, and last year, your 6th graders won. But this year? This year, you rise!
The key to a great classroom prank is simple: It needs to blow their minds without blowing up your classroom management. No mess, no tears, just pure, delicious confusion. And lucky for you, I’ve got some absolute chef’s-kiss pranks right here: 17 April Fools’ Pranks for Teachers That Will Melt the Minds of Students.
A few of my personal favorites for middle school:
- The Frozen Screen – Take a screenshot of your desktop, set it as the background, then hide all the real icons. Watch as they agonize over why nothing works. Bonus points if you act equally frustrated.
- The Impossible Quiz – Make a warm-up with questions like “What’s the capital of Atlantis?” or “How many moons does the Earth have? (Answer: It’s complicated.)” and watch them unravel.
- “Pop Quiz” Panic – Hand out a “test” filled with absurdly easy (or ridiculously hard) questions, then reveal it was all a joke just before full despair sets in.
Plan ahead, execute flawlessly, and bask in the sweet, sweet chaos. Because this year? Victory is yours!
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We Are Teachers,
One of our elementary APs seems proud of her mean reputation. At lunch last week, the cafeteria full of 3rd-to-5th graders were being particularly rowdy. She got on the bullhorn and yelled so loud it hurt my ears, then proceeded to say, “I know you think I’m mean, and I don’t care. I’m mean because I care.” I just think this is the wrong messaging to send to kids. Should I complain to my principal?
—Can We Care Without Being Mean?
